What to Do When YOU Are Doing Everything For Him | Relationships

By SarahLove
Total views: 15
Word Count: 618

As women, we all hate scales. Especially when they tip - for the worse. The scales in a relationship can tip as well, making our burden much heavier than it was in the beginning of the relationship. This can happen when you begin doing all the real work of the relationship - planning your events and outings, picking him up, calling him all the time and more.

Pretty soon, you start to get angry. Even needy. And eventually, it wears you out. Rori Raye termed this "Overfunctioning", which may sound a little silly, but it's a great word when you think about how well it fits.

What that means is that you are doing the relationship work of both partners! And you know YOU don't like it - but did you realize that HE does not like it either? He wants to be a man. However, you are emasculating him by babying him and taking over everything, leaving him nowhere to go within your relationship.

How it starts is by you wanting to show this man that you are capable of taking care of yourself. You DON'T want to be needy or clingy - you want to be strong and independent. Then it develops into you telling him how to do things orthat he is doing things wrong.

When the woman does this, she takes the role of the man away from the man. Doing that will strangle the attraction that the relationship had. So by trying to prove to him that you don't need him - you take away that part of the relationship that was his - the man part.

Don't get me wrong - your man, more than likely, does not want you to be a weak and witless wimp. Men, largely, DO like strong women. BUT he does NOT want YOU to be the man. If you are the man - then you are relegating yourself to the "friend zone" - because your relationship with him just became man to man. For the heterosexual male, this means friends.

Changing this is not impossible - and - it just may save your relationship. First of all - start being aware of what you are feeling when you do these things and why you are doing them. This will help you realize when you are about to turn into the "guy" and you can step back and remain the woman in the relationship.

Begin noticing when you start feeling negative and are about to talk to yourself in a negative way. This usually means you will then try to do something to make yourself feel better afterwards, like attention seeking behavior or needy, clingy actions so your man will sooth you.

Doing this with everyone will help you see for certain when you are going to use negative behavior with your man. Maybe that is telling him that the way he is doing something is not right, or trying to take control of a situation. Either way, you can stop the behavior and begin to repair your relationship.

On the other hand, if you say or do something and he puts his arms around you, kisses you passionately and tells you he loves you, you've most likely expressed yourself in an open, vulnerable, feminine, compellingly attractive way! Conversely, if you say something and he changes the subject, looks away, gets quiet or withdrawn, then you know you have said something negative.

If you truly pay attention and start giving your man permission to BE the man, your relationship will start to turn around. You can have the relationship you have always wanted.

About the Author

Relationship Advice for women by Rori Raye - Get Your Relationship Tool Kit!

Learn How To Catch Him and Keep Him Here

You are here Articles > Relationships