Your Postpartum Phase: Renewing the Intimacy | Sexuality

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Most women who go through the postpartum stages usually preoccupy themselves with caring for the new baby, more than anything else. While this is a natural instinct for a new mom, chances are her entire focus leans more toward the baby than to herself or to her spouse.

If you've experienced the baby blues, you should understand that you need to renew your intimate moments with your spouse even after giving birth; this can help fill the emotional gap in your relationship.

You'll also be able to get back on your feet faster if you reconnect with your partner as soon as you are willing to. Having postpartum sex is different since you're experiencing a wave of physical and emotional changes, but the following tips should help you deal with it in a comfortable way.

First and foremost, make sure that you are emotionally ready before getting intimate. Great sex is experienced when you don't rush into things, but it does help to lend it with some spontaneity.

You can take showers together with your husband; this is especially exciting if it has been a while since you both did this. Your partner's caress can be quite therapeutic, especially if it is lavished in your more intimate moments. If you are not ready for sex, at least spend some time close to each other, hug and cuddle your husband if you feel 'out of touch'; this condition occurs occasionally after the first few months of giving birth, and your partner will be glad that you are willing to seek for emotional support.

Make sure that before you get intimate, you have a backup birth control method in place. Even if you just gave birth or if you are breastfeeding your child (albeit irregularly) there is a good chance for you to conceive again if you don't take the proper precautions.

Another thing; you may also have some reservations concerning your physical appearance, that it interferes with your capacity to tune in to the moment. Make sure you tell your husband about your fears so that the two of you will be able to deal with it together.

You may need some prior stimulation before you get intimate. While you may have qualms with watching adult videos before sex, the truth is that it can enhance your postpartum sex life more than you may expect.

You should try it at least once with your husband; there are adult videos which aren't too intrusive on your personal convictions, in fact many are as discreet as they come. Plus, your husband may just as well welcome the sudden open-mindedness on your part.

You'll find it easier to self-lubricate with the proper stimulation, especially in these stages when you have a natural inability to do so. Otherwise, you can purchase an over-the-counter lubricant if you don't want to worry about how you'll be able to take it.

And finally, you can always say no if you just don't feel like it; you may be too emotional or too fatigued from caring for the baby, and you have the right to spend some time with yourself; your husband should remember that you are both getting through this together, and it helps to enforce your personal space once in a while.

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