The Most Common Causes of Divorce | Divorce

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Traditionally, women never opted for a divorce because they were financially dependent on their husbands. However, that too has changed with time and with the women becoming increasingly independent financially, divorce is no longer feared by women. While these are a few causes of divorce, we will evaluate the most common causes of divorce amongst couples today in the following section.

Extramarital Affair

Very few marriages are actually able to survive extramarital affairs. Extramarital affair can cause irreparable damage to a marriage. Marriage is based on trust and commitment and an extramarital affair causes a rift in the very foundation of marriage.

It becomes very hard for the non-cheating partner to trust the cheating partner again. When the cheating partner agrees to end the affair to make the marriage work, the non-cheating partner may still suspect the cheating partner because it becomes very hard to rebuild the trust all over again.

In one such instance, a husband cheated on his wife, and after agreeing to end the affair, the couple decided to give their marriage another chance. However, during the initial period of reconciliation, whenever the husband used to come in late from office, his wife used to ask about his whereabouts or would call him frequently to find out where he was.

The husband, though cooperative initially, started feeling frustrated after sometime because his wife’s behaviour made him feel that she still did not trust him. Seeing her husband’s frustration, the wife used to get even more upset about the situation. Finally, they decided to put an end to their marriage because they realised that they could never rebuild the lost trust completely.

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse involves causing physical harm to the other person. When one person in a marriage is a physical abuser, the other person tends to suffer enormously. Most experts agree that even counselling does not help a couple going through physical abuse because only the abuser is at fault. Till the time the abuser realises that the marriage is suffering because of his or her actions, the marital troubles cannot be resolved. Most victims feel too tortured to stay with the abuser and opt out of marriage.

Children

There are times when one of the partners wants to have a child whereas having a child is not on the priority list of the other partner. One of my close friends got married to his childhood sweetheart, only to realise later during the marriage that she did not want to have children, as she did not consider it an important aspect of her life. However, this friend of mine really wanted to have children and was willing to wait to give his wife some time to get used to the idea.

While he kept on waiting year after year for her to change her mind, she was firm about her decision. This issue created so much tension in their house that they could not even talk to one another without fighting or raising their voices. Finally, they decided to part ways. Infertility too can cause similar tensions in the house because the issues pertaining to having or not having a child can be very sensitive.

Emotional Abuse

Some people argue that scars of emotional abuse may take longer to heal because when a person is emotionally abused, he or she is likely to lose his or her self-confidence and self-esteem. Long-term emotional abuse can cause immense emotional hurt to the victim and, in such cases, divorce seems imminent.

Individualistic Attitude

Most people have become so independent these days that they hardly depend on their spouse emotionally or financially. In addition, our society and media encourage people to put their own need ahead of others, which has made some people very selfish. Some people tend to only think about their happiness in the marriage. Therefore, when the times get tough, such people head for the nearest divorce lawyer. Such people find it very hard to make compromises that a marriage may require, and divorce may seem like the easier thing to do.

Incompatibility

No two people can be the same. Therefore, there are bound to be differences of opinions and behaviour when two people start living together day-in and day-out. However, some couples realise that with time, their personalities have become incompatible. They may not be able to relate to one another and, consequently, may not even know what to talk about anymore. In such cases, couples opt for a divorce.

About the Author

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

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