The Good and Bad Sides of Divorce | Divorce

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Divorce is like a bombshell that destroys a marital relationship and disintegrates the family, with the partners going their own separate ways. It affects the life of husband, wife and children in different ways.

For some, it may be a liberating, life-giving experience that allows them freedom to spiritually and emotionally explore themselves and grow further. For others, life may take a turn for the worse as they may be forced to live below the poverty line or see their children walk away from their lives to live with their ex-partner and his or her spouse.

To a large extent, it depends on an individual to turn divorce into a burden and sink under its weight or take it as an opportunity that opens up a new, exciting chapter in life.

Marital separation impacts you in various ways.

New Start in Life: Divorce is a new beginning in life. With it, all your domestic troubles and emotional hardships are over. There is a total and clean break from your ex-spouse as you wash your hands off the relationship, no strings attached. This opens up new possibilities as you become your own boss. You can change house, move to another city, take up a new job, travel and see the world and start your life afresh. It is a great new feeling and the beginning of a new episode in life.

Personal Freedom: When you are married, you recognise certain obligations and rights regarding the marital relationship. You are supposed to share your innermost feelings with your partner and take all decisions mutually with the consent of the other. But with divorce, you become a free bird again as all ties to the spouse get cut. You can go anywhere, meet anyone and come back home as late as you want. You do not owe an explanation to anyone.

New Romantic Interests: With marital separation, you are free to explore new romantic relationships. There is no longer any need to hold yourself back or feel guilty about having intimate relations outside of the marriage. You can join dating clubs or propose to that office colleague you have always liked, but were avoiding because you were already married. You can flirt to your heart’s content or try to get into serious relationships to try to get remarried fast. The choice is yours.

Financial Freedom: When you get married, regardless of who is earning what or who brought what to the marriage, all your finances merge. You frequently use each other’s credit cards, splurge on the partner’s income and pool your resources to buy various family assets. You have an obligation to take your spouse’s wishes into account when making purchase decisions. However, with divorce, you get to keep your entire income to yourself. There is no one who can stake a claim to it. You can buy anything you want without asking anyone. Your savings increase too and you realise that you can create a cash cushion must faster now then when you were married.

Single Parenting: One of the saddest effects of divorce from the point of view of children is the separation of their parents. They are deeply impacted and become insecure. They miss the other parent. You too realise that single parenting is easier said than done. You have to juggle your job as well as household chores together and there is hardly any time left for any kind of leisure activities.

Financial Difficulties: For many people, particularly single mothers, divorce often translates into financial problems. After marriage, the husband earns while the wife usually leaves her job to become full-time home-maker and rear children. This has negative long-term consequences for her career. After divorce, she finds it hard to find a job according to her qualifications. On top of that, she has to take care of living expenses such as grocery and house rent as well as costs related to children such as hiring a baby sitter. Things become worse if the mother is not educated enough or does not have professional qualifications. The husband too has to suffer financial consequences of divorce due to division of marital assets with the wife.

Loneliness: Divorced people are lonely. They do not have the kind of intimacy and emotional support that only married people can get. They sleep alone and do not share their home with anyone until they can develop a new romantic relationship. There is also a feeling of insecurity, as the divorcees know that they do not have anyone to fall back on for support or comfort in their moment of need.

About the Author

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk

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