Overcoming Jealousy - Tips to Make Your Relationship Better | Dating

By SarahLove
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Jealousy is an unfortunate thing that everyone has to deal with at one point in their life or another. Especially if you are in a relationship. More than likely, sometime you will feel that ugly green monster creeping up on you, taking over your actions and possibly leading to heartache in your relationship.

Jealousy can happen in many different situations. Perhaps he crossed the line and cheated on you. Or maybe he is goggling some busty babe across the bar. Or maybe he is even just having a simple conversation with a co-worker that you find threatening for some reason.

No two ways about it, jealousy sucks. It makes you feel all kinds of hurtful emotions - anger, guilt, fear, hurt, disgust - you name it. And that happened whether or not your jealousy is reasonable.

There seem to be two different kinds of jealousy, too. One type of jealousy is jealousy that is founded in reason. The other kind is unwarranted. Unwarranted jealousy is being jealous over something like your husband mentioning some even years ago that happened with his ex-girlfriend, or some woman hitting on HIM at the bar.

The reasonable kind of jealousy - for you - is a sign that something is not right in your relationship. When you feel jealousy over him cheating on you - that is of course completely normal. But what it is screaming at you is that you have something HUGE in your relationship that you and your beau need to work on with each other. If he won't work on it WITH you - then you need to walk away.

Essentially what those feelings mean is that you are ANGRY that he is not treating you right. His treatment of you and your own self integrity are at war with each other. And if he is treating you in a way that makes your own integrity have to compete with something else - then he is NOT good enough for you.

Now the second kind of jealousy is jealousy about things in the past, or inconsequential things. First of all - EVERYONE HAS A PAST. Including you. If you are jealous over things that happened in the past with your man, then that is a problem YOU need to work on and get rid of.

In cases like this, your emotions are sending up a signal to your brain that all is not well within you. These are signs of emotional insecurity and fear. This is when you need to stop what you are doing and take a look inside to see what the true root of this jealousy is. Perhaps you have been hurt before and are acting defensively, or perhaps you are afraid of the unknown.

Sometimes, women even get jealous about things that have not even occurred. Say for instance you see your man talking to a co-worker at a party and they are laughing and having a good time. This is another emotional response to fear and insecurity. You need to look at what HE is doing and tell yourself, "It IS what it IS. Nothing."

When jealousy is founded in legitimate emotion - it means that something needs corrected quickly within your relationship. If you are becoming jealous over insignificant things, then you need to do a self-check, and correct the things within yourself that are out of balance.

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