Modeling Relationship Success for Men | Dating

By infomktjv
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We live in a society that places a lot of value on having relationships, but very little value on maintaining strong and healthy relationships. Divorce rates have soared, and fewer couples even bother to get married to avoid the nastiness of divorce. Over all, the quality of relationships have spiraled downward, and so much of it comes right back to learning to talk to each other without resorting to eye gouging, hair pulling, and storming out the door in a heated rage.

The greatest struggle between the sexes is expectation. Women expect (often) that men can read minds and should act accordingly. Men (often) don't appreciate what women really do and expect that there isn't a problem until after the problem has eroded away the foundation. So now what?

Re-evaluation of the role of both partners in any given relationship is of highest priority to those who wish to remain in their relationship. So often, women tend to see discussions as criticism while men take it as complaining. Discussion, believe it or not, is nothing more than the exchange of information. Information that is reasonably exchanged on the job just tells you how to do your job better. Information that comes from your partner is really just information that tells how to do that job better. If we could learn to look at relationship discussions as an exchange of information for the intention of creating a better relationship, half of our problems would easily blow away.

Times have changed and thus our old role models for a good relationship (assuming we ever had them) are no longer applicable. In fact, men who react or act in the same manner as their father or grandfather would be lucky to even find a woman to date, let alone marry. Women have a whole new set of expectations and yet we keep comparing them to our mothers. It really doesn't work well that way. Men were once expected to work hard, come home to a clean house with a warm meal and become the focal point of attention for the rest of the evening. Women have taken a pretty big bite out of the career apple and aren't home all day to live around that expectation. Time for more changes.

Negotiation skills, the ability to exchange information, and the understanding that both parties work hard and both have to share in the rewards as well as the work is a good place to start. Men, a job description for you might read along the lines of:
Good communication and negotiation skills are required as job entails ample verbal communication as well as physical communication. Applicant should be able to cut grass, wash dishes, change diapers, and grab their handy drill just as easily as they should be able to provide a steady income, learn to laugh more and talk without yelling.

Women, your job description would resemble:
Ability to speak one's mind is a must. Ability to relax about tasks left undone for a day is a huge bonus. Tearful manipulation will not lead to a promotion but the ability to express concerns calmly will. Must be willing to write checks for the bills as easily as whip out a credit card for fun purchases. The ability to learn from conversations will assist the productive outcome faster than dramatic representation of material that only goes on your head.

Relationships are not easy, but well worth the effort when it comes down to it. Taking the time to really hear each other, negotiate better terms, and of course, accept their partner's limitations is a job description that is bound to lead to tenure and happy raises.

About the Author

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