Competition is Not Always Healthy | Dating

By LynnThomas
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Anyone who has ever been in a relationship will agree that it is difficult. Being locked in competition with your partner makes things infinitely more of a challenge. Once this vicious cycle begins, your relationship is in big trouble. By practicing a little damage control as soon as this problem starts can save an otherwise doomed relationship.

This can be a real problem in relationships between people who are both ambitious and competitive. By the time you notice it, it may have already driven a wedge between you and him. Rori Raye describes "boy energy" as that aggressive approach that women use to achieve great things. This 'boy energy' can completely wreck your relationship. It is important to avoid letting this happen by paying attention to the warning signs.

When he starts to pull away from you, avoiding activities that involve competition, you can be sure that there is a problem. This could be as simple as a card game with friends at a dinner party, or even something as harmless as the jog you take together in the evening. If he begs off activities like this, chances are that something is up.

There are a lot of ways you can throw off the balance in your relationship. Whether making jokes at his expense, or giving him a hard time when he can't keep up with you on a jog, these little jabs will make him feel as though you are not supportive of him, and that you lack respect for him.

The reason why this is so destructive to an otherwise healthy relationship is that the role you play in his life should be one of love, respect, and acceptance. When he feels that these things are threatened, he begins to doubt the stability of your relationship, and his confidence is challenged. These seeds of doubt can make a relationship unravel.

As soon as you sense that there is a problem, it is imperative that you begin to seek solutions. Rather than asking why he is bent out of shape, you need to begin by asking why you feel a need to compete with him. Is it your own insecurity that is driving your actions? Only when you are truly secure in yourself and your relationship, will you be willing to give the praise and support he desires rather than taking it for yourself.

You can turn things around before they become critical if you just take the time to notice this problem as soon as it begins. As long as you take the time to consider what it would feel like to be in his shoes, you will be able to understand why this is a problem. No one likes to be one-upped, especially by their mate! Next time a competitive situation arises, be encouraging and supportive. Be generous and kind rather than selfish and self-serving. By making his victories your own, your relationship will thrive by being mutually supportive and loving.

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