A Date Starts Much Earlier Than You Think | Dating

By MarieWilson
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When does a date start? You may be tempted to say it starts when you drive up to take her out on that first "formal" outing that she agreed to go to with you. But if you view the date as starting then, you will have lost a lot of valuable "date time" that happens long before she says yes to going out with you.

The truth is except when you are set up for a date and meet her for the first time that night, most of the time the act of dating starts with flirtation long before you formally go out. And if you use that time before the date in a smart way, your chances of having a great evening with her are much better.

Whether she knows it or not, you start dating a girl even during the get acquainted phase. The only change in what happens during those critical days or weeks leading up to the date and the formal event is in how you handle them. But if within your mind the act of dating that girl of your dreams starts as soon as you determine that you want the date, you have hours of valuable time to get to know her and lay the groundwork, for what will become a wonderful romance once you actually ask her out and begin the time when you are "a couple."

The common setting you and the girl you have your eye on is a great place to strike up an acquaintance and then a friendship. If you know the girl through work or school or a shared social scene where you are both relaxed, that's ideal. Since you probably both share other friends there, it's very easy to get introduced and to learn more about each other in a group setting. These "group dates" are relaxed and at ease and a great way to casually start a relationship building that may lead to dating and romance.

This is the kind of setting where a casual conversation can allow you to ask some of those early questions that will be so important in making that decision on whether to even ask this girl on the first date. By getting some of that early "espionage" out of the way, you dramatically reduce the chance of having a "first date nightmare" that so many guys experience and never want to go through again. The truth is that other than a flat tire or someone getting sick or hurt, most first date disasters happen when something comes out in the relationship that dooms the chance of a romance. And the worst part is that if this happens early in the evening, the rest of the date can be tremendously awkward.

A critical piece of information to focus on in your early chats is if the girl is even in the dating market at all. She usually will let you know if she has a boyfriend, a husband or some other reason that she can or will not date you. And as disappointing as that might be, it's a whole lot better than floating the date question out there only to get told "no" and to have to deal with that sense of rejection just because you didn't do your homework up front.

Because this time before you start the romantic wheels turning is casual, you can cleverly find out any problems that could hinder a future romance. Such things as religious differences, firmly held political views or conflicts of culture can be learned without pressure or hostility. But knowing these things well in advance can help you decide whether to even ask the girl out or it can help you design the first date to avoid problem activities.

This time frame of the date before the date is also a good time to generally get to know the girl and let her get to know you in a relaxed situation. So much of the "chemistry" of that first date can be established during this time of getting to know each other and "feeling each other out". It is a time when you can sense if the attraction is mutual and if you will have grounds for a strong relationship that will lead to not only a great first date but many great dates after that. And if you can get that kind of information gathered before you even ask for that first romantic interlude, you will be well ahead of the game.

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