10 Common Break Up Blunders To Avoid If You Want Your Ex Back | Relationships

By ClaireTourney
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You may have all the good intentions in the world of wanting to stop your break up and win your ex-lover back, but you could be actually be blundering along instead, making things even worse instead of increasing your chances of winning your lost love back.

Are you committing any of these ten breakup blunders?

1. Telling your ex that they are making a huge mistake. This won't convince your ex to change their mind, they will only be more relieved that they decided to break up with you in the first place.

2. Calling too soon after the break up. Your ex has broken up with you and this should make it clear that they need some space right now and the last thing they want is to hear from you.

3. Drunk Dialing. You may be drowning your sorrows and the alcohol is intensifying your emotional state so you keep calling and trying to get your ex to talk to you.... See #2

5. Leaving a lot of voice mail and email messages.... Again - see #2

5. Telling your ex and everyone who will listen how sad, lonely and depressed you have been since the breakup. If you are hoping to win the sympathy of your ex you need to understand that this is just being manipulative, and no matter how unintentional it may be you are still overwhelming them with your emotions and neediness, a real relationship killer.

6. Continuing to argue about the break up and bring up past disagreements and squabbles. Perhaps you manage to get your ex's attention and get them talking to you. Do you think this is the best use of your time? You really are being fairly immature and petty and this isn't going to get you what you want. It will only keep you stuck in the past instead.

7. Professing your undying love over and over. Even if you don't think your ex completely gets how much you really and truly love them, obviously that is not the issue right now or they wouldn't have wanted to break up. You need to take a different perspective and sort through what went wrong with the relationship and what needs to change instead of thinking that true love is the answer to everything.

8.Apologizing over and over and over again. Now if you did do something wrong, perhaps really blew it by breaking a big promise or cheating on your ex an apology certainly is in order. But you have to know the right way to make an effective apology, and hardly anyone really knows how to do this. You also have to know when to apologize instead of apologizing too soon. And if you didn't do anything that needs to be apologized for, then you are only compromising yourself, an unattractive trait in anybody.

9. Trying to make your ex jealous. Well, this may work initially for some psychological reasons, and maybe a little bit won't hurt as people tend to want what they can't have. But it still won't change the reasons for the break up in the first place and if all you are depending on is manipulative tactics to try and win your ex back you will end up with a pretty twisted relationship that will be even harder to keep going for the long term.

10. Pleading with your ex to take you back. The big secret here is this: people like people who like themselves, who are strong and emotionally secure enough not to want someone back so much that they will sacrifice their self dignity by begging.

Now that you know what blunders to avoid when trying to win back your ex girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife it's time to get a perspective on where the relationship went wrong and what needs to change and then you can begin planning a SMARTER strategy for getting your ex back.

About the Author

Hi I'm Claire Tourney. You need to avoid the Big Blunders most people make trying to get their ex back. Get SMARTER steps and a PROVEN, effective plan to win your ex back by visiting my Squidoo lens Get Your Ex Back - The Smart Way!

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