5 Symptoms of AFL Dream Team Addiction | Football

By JessePenfold
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Word Count: 479

Here are the top 5 warning signs AFL Dream Team is ruining the game for you ... If you recognise some of these symptoms I feel for you - Dream Team Addiction is just around the corner. Beware!

5. You know every stat value in Dream Team and your mind is filled of these numbers bouncing around whenever your player gets a stat.

However, when you know your opponent's team and you start seeing numbers when they rack them up as well, you are looking in trouble. Once you're seeing plays as numbers it's as good as over for you - goodbye football fan, hello Dream Team Geek. Like the binary nerds before you, you're reduced to a series of 1s and 0s.

Note - if you play Super Coach, then think yourself lucky the scoring formula is guarded more closely than a parent guards their child at a Michael Jackson concert - you won't be seeing these numbers in your sleep.

4. Your mobile phone runs hot with all sorts of Dream Team score updates from the half time and full time scores.

(The half time updates are the key symptom of Dream Team Addiction ... we all succumb to the full time updates now and then).

3. Joy is when you players in your team get engaged in a bit of backline kick to kick - and it's not because it reminds you of days in the park sharing the Sherrin with your old man.

Even if this is a close game late in the fourth quarter, you no longer boo but instead cheer 'clock management' and have your own footy to hold high above your head.

2. You have cursed, slammed your fist on the table, punched the wall, thrown the remote or smashed something for any of the following reasons:

- your DT player hand balls when they could kick - your DT player drops a soda of a mark in the clear - your DT player gives away a free - your gun back pocket attracts a tag (hello Heath Shaw) - your DT player gets a free, but advantage is given to another player (in front of goal this may warrant wall punching) - your low scoring back men is not getting involved in the short pass after a point - your player is not getting involved in clock management or "tempo" footy

Finally - the big kahoona...

1. You would prefer to see your team lose if it meant your Dream Team players could rack up a huge score.

I am sorry; this is where I draw the line. Crossing it is not only first degree sports bigamy, but it really is the point of no return. Hand in your Aussie citizenship and book some time on the couch, and no I do not mean with Gerard Healy (although you might find him in the waiting room).

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