Being More Than a Sperm Donor: What Dads Need to Know Now! | Psychology

By ChristyCuellar-Wentz
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1. I doubt you were a great lover your first time out, so why would you expect to know how to be a great dad without any practice? You may not know it yet, but fatherhood can be a lot more fulfilling than donating sperm! Relax, give yourself some time to learn, and have some fun along the way.

2. Diaper duty earns big points. So does feeding, rocking, and bathing your baby. Any hands-on fathering will be a big help to your partner and your baby.

3. Your wife probably has baby on the brain. Being on duty twenty-four hours a day will do that to a person, and no, she's not as much fun as she used to be. HOWEVER, she will return being more like the woman you fell in love with - maybe even better than you remember - after the three of you make the profound transition to new parenthood.

4. It may look like all your wife cares about is the baby, but she actually needs you. A lot. The amazing person you coupled with nine or ten months ago is right there inside the stressed-out new mom. Stay close and keep the faith.

5. You will have sex again. With your wife. Given a little time, you can resume some of your more enjoyable husbandly duties.

6. Postpartum disorders are no one's fault. It is normal for new moms to experience some sort of postpartum mood disorder. It's not your fault, or hers either. Some symptoms are temporary. All are treatable.

7. Sleep heals. Mothers typically take the brunt of sleepless nights, but you're probably not getting as much as you need either. Whoever came up with the phrase "sleeping like a baby" didn't know babies wake up a lot! One proven way to help both of you feel better is to support each other in getting sleep whenever possible.

8. Trust your instincts. Different "experts", including the guy in line at the grocery store, will tell you to handle your baby a different way. Trust yourself, your wife and your baby to tell you what you need to know.

9. Your baby needs to play with you. Here is a case where having fun is the right thing. Playing stimulates your baby's mind and body to develop in healthy ways. You may feel more playful right now than your wife, so go for it.

10. The advent of a new baby is stressful. Even miracles create challenges. Things should get smoother with a little time. If your lives don't get better, or if you or your wife feels worse, ask for help!

About the Author

Christy Cuellar-Wentz, M.A. is a writer and mental health professional dedicated to providing support for the life-changing transition to new motherhood. She offers free weekly MP3 downloads with empowering ideas for new dads and mpms as well as up-to-date information on postpartum depression, postnatal stress and baby blues.

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