Who Knew Pyrotechnics Is A Hobby? | Humor

By kphirst
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Word Count: 405

A hobby gives us a chance to do something the best we can; but because we're not being paid to do it, no one tells us we're not doing it well enough. My grandfather's hobby was collecting. He collected coins and stamps and guns and clocks. I didn't get the collector gene. The three, glass hearts on the coffee table aren't a collection - two looked too few. The four drawings by the same artist aren't a collection - they're bad judgment. In fact, judging by the pads of post-its strategically placed throughout my house, I have trouble collecting my thoughts.

I don't collect books. I give them away after I read them. My love of reading started with Nancy Drew Mysteries. Next came gothic novels, followed by romance novels. Now I'm back to mysteries. After hunting for a missing sock or trying to identify a bottle of brown sauce in the back of my refrigerator, I love to escape to a land of fantasy where every mystery is solved.

I love knitting - except when I hate it. I learned to knit when I was a pre-teen. As an adult, I apprenticed myself to a sweater designer. Although I learned various stitches and how to make patterns, I didn't learn patience. A loose stitch or an uneven row drives me crazy. At times I've ripped out more than I've knitted. At times only my brow has stayed knitted.

Then there's eating. Because I like to try new things, I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is. There was possum in Africa, squid cooked in its own ink in Spain, and calf's head in France. Eating, of course, became less challenging when I became a vegetarian; but I've still uttered an occasional four-letter word. In India the four-letter word was OKRA.

All hobbies require time; and because I had time, I yahoo'd new possibilities. Dumpster diving sounded too athletic and knotting sounded too negative. Cloud watching is something I could take lying down, but I couldn't share with fair weather friends. Pyrotechnics sounded interesting; but because of the chemistry involved, I could be left in the dark. Lock picking sounded interesting too, but I want to spend time - not do time. Finally I decided on treasure hunting - but not with a map, a metal detector or a dowsing rod. I'm going to hunt for some quiet time and then treasure it.

About the Author

KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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