What's The Lowdown On Dental Hygiene? | Humor

By kphirst
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Word Count: 402

If the tooth be told, George Washington's dentures weren't made of wood. They were made of bone. There have been vast improvements in dentures since then, but this has had a negative effect on the world's political situation. Now it's much easier for world leaders to bite off more than they can chew.

Today's process of whitening came too late for world leader, Mao Tse-Tung. His pearly whites were supposedly green. Mao said that he didn't brush them because tigers didn't brush theirs. This is a surprising bit of trivia, but what surprises me more is that someone had the nerve to ask Mao why he didn't brush.

Saying brush three times a day isn't saying a lot, but it would be hard to say a lot without teeth. To say the hard "t" sound in tooth your tongue has to hit the inside of your incisors. To say the "th" sound your tongue has to go in between your upper and lower teeth. Maybe children should be taught that poor dental hygiene has unspeakable consequences.

When I was a child, I was taught about dental hygiene by the always smiling Mr. Happy Tooth and the evil, mustache-twirling Mr. Tooth Decay when they appeared on children's television. Then there was the Tooth Fairy, who brought me twenty-five cents for every incisor, canine and molar under my pillow. She brought my sons fifty cents and now she brings children a dollar. The tooth fairy has kept up with inflation, but she hasn't kept up with the times. She needs to be more proactive. Instead of giving children money for teeth that come out, she should give them money for ones that grow in. Bob Barker isn't working these days. Maybe they could get together to create a game show for children - Tooth or Consequences.

My younger son learned about dental hygiene in science class. His teacher put two eggs in a bowl of vinegar, one of which had been dipped in a fluoride solution. The egg that hadn't been dipped bubbled when the acid in the vinegar attacked the minerals in the shell. Even though the experiment wasn't "eggsact" science, it motivated my son to brush more. New products continually coming on the market provide motivation, but we still have a lot to learn about dental hygiene. This shouldn't be a surprise. The majority of us have our wisdom teeth removed.

About the Author

KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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