What Are The Comforts Of Home? | Humor

By kphirst
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Word Count: 404

The comforts of home depend on where home is. I've lived in a trailer, an apartment, a condo, a house and with my in-laws. Everywhere I've lived I've known that home is where the heart is. What I've learned is that neighbors can give you heartburn.

Now I live in Los Angeles, where they want to make homeowners responsible for their sidewalks. Many of LA's sidewalks are cracked and in need of repair, but I thought that was why I paid taxes. If I have to fix cracks, that should include the ones in lawmakers' heads.

My grandmother led a simpler life. She didn't have a dishwasher or a microwave. Her freezer wasn't frost-free and her oven wasn't self-clean. In spite of that, she seemed to have more free time than I do. She had time to take me horseback riding and swimming. She took me to the park and to the library. After I had children I realized my grandmother had spent her free time on me. Keeping me out of trouble must have been cost effective.

The comfort of home my husband and I miss most when we travel is our bed. That's why we used our frequent flyer miles for business class when we flew to India. I pictured myself sleeping on one of the convert-to-bed seats I'd seen advertised on television. Unfortunately, there are four buttons to personalize the comfort of the bed - which means the chance of not succeeding is quadrupled. Because the bed takes up the space where my carry-on would have gone, it - and several things I needed - had to go in the overhead compartment. Because the airlines aren't much more generous with space in business class than they are in tourist class, other passengers had to climb over the end of my bed - and not always successfully. The best that can be said about those beds is you can take the problems they cause lying down.

Hotels are providing more of the comforts of home to attract customers. They started with shampoos and body lotions and progressed to hair dryers and makeup mirrors. These were followed by daily newspapers and internet access. The last hotel I stayed in had all those plus terrycloth robes and matching slippers. Because some hotels are homier than my own home, I'm putting a chocolate on my pillow and a Do Not Disturb sign on my door.

About the Author

KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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