Is It Later Than You Think? | Humor

By kphirst
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Word Count: 404

With Daylight Saving Time it can be an hour earlier or later than you think - unless you live in Arizona or Hawaii, where they don't fool with Mother Nature. Congress, of course, can't resist fooling with her and has repeatedly changed the dates on which Daylight Saving Time begins and ends. As a law-abiding citizen, I sprang ahead an hour on my bedside clock. Who knew my new clock did that automatically. As a result, I woke up two hours ahead - and it's not good to fool with this mother's nature.

On the other hand - of the clock, waking up later than we think gives most of us cold sweats - but it gives inventors inspiration. An MIT student invented "Clicky". When you hit Clicky's snooze button, it rolls off the nightstand and around the room - beeping and flashing - until you catch it. For those of us with higher standards, there's "Blowfly", which soars into the air when the alarm goes off and beeps until you return it to its base. Then there's the "Gun-Operated Alarm Clock". For additional snooze time you shoot the clock - which is what we all want to do when the alarm goes off.

We all want to live longer, but women have been living longer than men since the 19th century. As of 2008, women's life expectancy is 5.4 years longer than men's. The National Center for Health Statistics, however, predicts that men and women will have the same life expectancy in 50 years. This is good news. It means women won't be alone as long, which means they won't get sick as easily, which means they won't have to go into nursing homes as soon. Frankly, I'm not sure if men will have longer life expectancies in 50 years or if it will just seem that way to them.

Men or women - we all live in fast-paced times; and when we look in the mirror, it can look later than we think. That helps explain why there were 12 million plastic surgeries in 2007. Although women continue to have more procedures than men, men are getting more and more in touch with their feminine side. Men's cosmetic surgeries increased 13% in 2007. The new trend is couples having surgery together - which I completely understand. Just because a couple has decided to grow old together doesn't mean they want to look it.

About the Author

KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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