Do Old Sayings Still Mean What They Say? | Humor

By kphirst
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Word Count: 406

One of my grandmother's favorite sayings was don't borrow trouble. A rain cancellation, a bad medical report, an unwelcome guest - she didn't believe in worrying about something that might not happen. According to Grandmother, when you borrow trouble, it's hard to return.

As a child, I not only borrowed trouble, I used it to make mountains out of mole hills. Rain on the day of my school picnic, a "B" on an exam I thought I'd aced, a pimple on prom night; but life changes perspective and mountains get smaller - with one exception. Politicians continue to make mountains out of Capitol Hill.

Politicians, however, aren't the only ones who bite off more than they can chew. Projects, PTA functions, parties - we've all struggled taking on more than we can handle. Nevertheless, I'm glad some people did. If pilgrims, pioneers and most politicians didn't bite off more than they could chew, we'd have too much on our plates.

If you don't have an apple a day on your plate to keep the doctor away, a Chia Pet will do. It's not the terra cotta figurine that wards off illness. It's the hair-growing, chia seeds that you smear on the figurine that keep the doctor from your door. Chia seeds have the highest proportion of omega three fatty acids of any plant. They're high in protein, calcium and fiber. Ch-ch-ch-chia is ch-ch-ch-cheap health care.

Chia Pets to Chevrolets, Americans are good shoppers; but the availability of both products and credit can turn good shoppers into bad savers. In fact, the U.S. is almost last among developed countries when it comes to personal savings. If a fool and his money are soon parted, we must have more fools in the U.S.

No matter where you are, absence is meant to make the heart grow fonder - but of whom? After leafing through two People Magazines while I was waiting to see my doctor, it seems absence makes the heart grow fonder of the one with whom you're making a movie.

Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today - that seems to be good advice for movie stars; but for compulsive personalities like me, those are words we live by. Like all other compulsive personalities, I compulsively want to change. I want to stop and smell the roses - I just don't want to pick them. But there I go again - borrowing trouble.

About the Author

KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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