10 Step To Helping Your Teen Deal With Peer Pressure | Family

By CatherineAnn
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As mothers of younger children, we think we have seen everything. We have dealt with skinned knees, messy houses, and sibling squabbles. Some day I may write a book on each of these. As you go through these problems, they seem so difficult, so trying. As my kids move towards their teenage years, I now realize that those problems were easy to deal with compared to what lies ahead.

As of a few days ago, I have a teenager! Now the problems are much more difficult. Raising young children is easy. If something goes wrong, all you have to do is give them a few kisses, a quick hug, and maybe a few minutes on mom or dad's lap.

The problems that face today's teens; drug abuse, alcohol abuse, teen sexuality, smoking, and pregnancy can't be solves so easily. These issues take a well thought out plan to solve.

When are kids are young we spend a lot of time teaching right from wrong. With teens, this teaching is much more important and needs to be practiced just as much. Here are some specific steps you can take to help your teen deal with peer pressure.

1. I want to know who I am?: Your teens friends are really important to him or her because they help your teen figure out who they are and what they stand for. That's not always a bad thing, but you want to be big influence in this area also. Spend time talking to your teen about what they believe in. Get them to say it out loud. Once they can verbalize what they stand for, it gets easier to make the right decision. When faced with an unclear decision, they should ask themselves, how does this compare to what I want to be?

2. What am I getting into?: Anytime your teen leaves the house make sure that both of you know what they are getting into. Make sure that you are both comfortable with what will be going on where they will be. If either of you aren't comfortable with the situation, make an excuse for your teen not to go.

3. Know what questions to ask: Make sure your teen has a good arsenal of questions to ask their friends to find out what will be going on. Who will there? Are there parents there? Will there be alcohol or drugs there? It might be embarrassing the first time for your teen, but make sure they understand that their safety is more important than a slight bit of embarrassment.

4. HELP!!!!: If your teen ever finds himself in a situation he is uncomfortable in, make sure he knows how to get help. Make sure he has a list of several cell phone numbers of friends and family who will drop everything and come get them right then and there. They also need to know that they will never be in trouble with you when they ask to be rescued.

5. Lights, camera, Action: Role playing, with you as your teen's friend can really help your child be ready for a difficult situation. Pretend that you are your teen's friend and try to talk your teen into situations they should avoid. Be clever and persistent like your teen's friends would be. Coach them on how to handle different situations.

6. My mom would kill me!: If your teen doesn't want to look un-cool, have them make you the bad guy for not going some where. Most teens can identify with this and will give your teen a pass when this excuse is used.

7. What is a "real friend": Ask your teen why a good friend would ask them to do something that they were uncomfortable with. Your teen should examine the motives of that "friend". Maybe they really aren't a friend.

8. What is cool?: Ask your teen to make a list of 5 people from the real world that they think are cool. Chances are that they will choose someone from the music or entertainment industry (If the choose you, this is going to be easy). Find out from your teen what about this person is cool. Point out to your teen that these characteristics that your teen thinks are so cool weren't developed by doing what everyone else is doing. Being cool is about doing what you want to do, not following the crowd.

9. My confidence is growing: As parents, we have to work hard at staying positive. Sometimes we get so focused on getting things done, and what isn't getting done, that we forget about spending quality time with our kids. It is incredibly important to let all of our kids, but especially our teens, to know how important they are to us. Our teens are feeling very unsure about themselves and they are looking to us to build their confidence. Let them know how you feel about them. If there is another adult around, let your teen "overhear" you bragging about them. It will really give them a boost!

10. Make plenty of family time: At the end of the day, the best defense against peer pressure that you can give your teen is a strong family bond. When it is all said and done, your teen will lean on you for support if they know they can count on you.

Raising a teen is tough. They are facing some really difficult issues as are you. You will both make mistakes. Make the mistakes out of love, not pride or stubbornness and always be willing to forgive each other.

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